We have almost always had those friends who seem to “know everything” when it comes to courting women, from what they want, to how guys should act around them. For the most part, it does seem like they are right when they tell you of the things you should and should not say or do however one thing is always overlooked here – human interaction has no manual or guide. People are not the same and therefore what one woman may prefer can be despised by the other. The real magic formula is simply being one’s true self.
Most guys get nervous (though they will never publicly admit to this) when faced and talking to someone that they are attracted to. Pressure mounts and the most important thing becomes “not blowing it”. This therefore forces a man to create an image that they deem impressive in order to make the woman like him better. Sometimes lies are told and important truths concealed but the problem in this is that it takes away the actual pleasure meant to be obtained from the social experience. In simpler terms – instead of trying to connect with this person, you are now more focused in being perfect and not making mistakes
Another sad thing about pretence is that the lie has to continuously be made and in so doing more falsehoods emerge.One should therefore be honest in their approach in order to save valuable time and resources. It is better to have a relationship fail with her knowing the real you from the onset than one built on lies because eventually it (the relationship) too will crumble when the truth comes out. Who knows, you might just be depriving yourself of true and lasting joy, what if she likes you for whom and what you are?
We are by no means saying swap social security numbers on the first date or be a blunt slob. Just be the normal you. If you feel like your everyday self is not interesting enough an easy solution would be to change and do better. This way you do not have to misrepresent yourself. Work on your body to boost your confidence, up skill yourself to boost your pocket and stop faking!
For those that are still not convinced with this approach, let us try and visualize the worst case scenario. She blows you off and does not like you for your true self. Research shows that there’s considerably more women than men in America so there’s literally many more fish in the sea.
Technology has presented us with online dating tools such as icebreakers online that allow one to constantly meet different suitors until they find their Match. It also gives one the opportunity to carefully think about what they are going to say next with less pressure and at the same time making it easier to keep track of the conversation should your brain “freeze’’ at any moment.
Always remember that the person you are trying to impress with pretence is probably also as nervous as you are. Stop selling yourself short! Get on the icebreakers app, search for beautiful single women in your area, buy a drink for someone and put this theory to the test. If she lets you buy her a drink in the first place, you are already halfway there. What’s the worst which could happen? We would love to hear from you, so be sure to give us feedback afterwards.