How To Get Out Of The Friendzone

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Most men find themselves in situations they do not want to be in especially when it comes to being in platonic relationships with the woman of your dreams. The million dollar question is how to get out of the friend zone? Or more importantly how to avoid this situation in the first place? 

Sometimes we complicate our own lives by not being honest with our feelings.  From the onset of any relationship, making your feelings and intentions known can save you a lot of heartache and frustration. The quicker the better as it gets harder the longer you drag things on. The trick is in how you tell her. Make sure you set the scene right such as a dinner date (depending on what she likes, again making things apparent) and that she is relaxed and in a good mood. You do not want to let your intentions known when she is having a bad day as this may seem to some to be inconsiderate or self centered on your part. Contrary to waiting for the right moment, wine, flowers and a sympathetic ear may be just what the doctor ordered after a hard day at work. The key to do it fearlessly, and not to wait. Treat it as a date and as if she is already yours. Its 1st and 10 on the 20 and you are down by 5. Just telling her without a show of action will not be taken seriously.

Confidence is a big draw card. Women are attracted to brave/confident men in as much as men are attracted to beautiful women. Confidence is exhibited in how you walk and talk (for example  walking with a straight posture rather than with your shoulders slouched). Confidence comes in many forms, intelligence, body, profession, power, looks or social standings. Whatever it is that you are proficient at, use that as your inspiration and show her you are not afraid to show the world who you are and what she means to you. If she is afraid of something, show that you can do it for her or at least step in help. Remember – the idea in all this is for her to see you for your attractive traits rather than as a plain friend.

Friends talk about a lot of things such as the people they are attracted to, exes etc. Therefore it is important to avoid these conversations at all costs. Don’t talk to her about other girls or your exes. If she initiates conversation regarding men she is attracted to or her exes, try and change the conversation. These types of conversations breed “friendly familiarity” rather than initiate relationships. If anything you should constantly compliment her on how beautiful she looks or how nice her new hairdo is, again making it known that you should be looking at me. Everyone loves being complimented and having their efforts such as dressing noticed and appreciated. This may start to trigger the thought of her being with you as more than just a friend.

Pay attention to the things she likes and spoil her with them, and that doesn’t equate to monetary items because at the end of the day, your time is what you desire to give her the most. A walk through the park, a casual trip to the ice cream shop or teaching her to shoot at the gun range is not just a date, that time spent can be a life experience. THe key here is understanding and acting on her love language. Some women love being spoiled with random gifts such as flowers and being taken out to nice places. For others it may be acts of service such as picking up her dry cleaning because you know she is not going to have time to do it.  This shows her that you are thinking about her when you are alone or when you see something beautiful (such as flowers).

Be consistent in your pursuit and communication. Don’t start ignoring her messages or making less time for her. If you start by texting her on a regular and seeing her often – continue on that part consistently. This shows you can be trusted and relied upon. People generally get bored easily where there’s no consistency and this can drive a cold wedge between the two of you.

When you have conversions, ensure that you do not talk to her like you are talking to your male friends. There needs to be a difference. Pay attention and avoid unnecessary debates. If you pay attention you will know the topics you both like – dwell on those. Another important thing is to avoid oversharing information on your part. Don’t tell her things she could later use against you – things that may paint you in a bad light, save that for pillow talk once the relationship has been established..

A great idea would be to get her on the IceBreakers App and initiate everything from there. Chat with her on the app, let her know your intentions in writing through the app, find out her love language and offer to buy her a drink at her favourite spot. This would prove to not only be smart play on your part but a romantic gesture which says I am not looking for a friend.

The fear of rejection is what makes most men avoid being honest about their feelings. However you stand to lose more by not acting on how you feel. Someone else can come into the picture yet it could have been you in that relationship. At the end of the day what is there to lose? Some say you may lose a good friendship  while pursuing a relationship, however if the friendship was solid in the first place there is nothing to lose.

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